Dear LPG readers,

I recently came across this on the internet, with instructions to share it, as it would be a shame for any LPG readers to miss out on reading such a report of these events.  It follows...

I decided to water my garden. As I turned on the hose in the driveway, I looked at my car and decided it needed washing. As I approach the garage, I notice the mail on the porch table that I picked up earlier. I decided to go through the mail before I washed the car. I laid my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and noticed the bin was full.

So, I put the bills back on the table and took out the rubbish since I would be near the mailbox anyway. I decided I might as well pay the bills first. I took my chequebook off the table and saw only one cheque left. My extra cheques are on my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk, where I find a can of Pepsi I’d been drinking. 

I will look for my cheques, but first, I need to push the Pepsi aside so I don’t accidentally knock it over. The Pepsi is getting warm, so I put it in the fridge to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need watering. 

I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover the reading glasses I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I should put them back on my desk, 
but first, I will water the flowers. I set the glasses back on the counter, filled a container with water, and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone had left it on the kitchen table. 

I realise that tonight, when we watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs. But first, I’ll water the flowers. I pour  some water into the flowers, but quite a bit spills onto the floor. So, I put the remote back on the table, grab some towels, and wipe up the spill.  Then, I head down the hall, trying to remember what I was planning to do. 

The car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there’s a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, the flowers don’t have enough water, and there’s still only one cheque in my chequebook; I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys. 
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing has been done that day, I feel baffled because I know I have been busy all day, and I am exhausted.

I realise this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help, but first I’ll check my email… Please do me a favour. Please forward this message to everyone you know because I don’t remember who I sent it to. Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming! 

Have you ever experienced an episode of overwhelming procrastination?  

 Creating a list of tasks to accomplish may be the key to achieving more. Still, if you added all these tasks to your list, put pen to paper after every change in thought direction, and remember to pick one up between thoughts, it would make everything take longer.  I know just how the writer of this piece feels, and many of my friends whom I have shown this story to agree that it happens to them too.  

There is nothing to tell us how old the person who wrote it all down is, but I bet he (or she) was a pensioner!

MM, Kent