Dear LPG, 

I recently read what LF had to say about the convenience of hands free technology and agree with everything she says (►►►), partly because I have the same conversations with my children where the chat suffers from the stop/interrupt/restart progression all too often.   

But they have turned me into an earbud wearing oldie and, ever since I learned to shove the things up my auditory canals without losing them, life has been so much less lonely.  You have your friend right there with you while you are having your coffee or getting dressed and you don’t even have to stop talking while you are doing all those personal embarrassing things that no one else needs to see.   I can get as busy as them because I love to talk and I have got quite used to talking with those children and nieces who are always on the go.  

There is something else that I can tell you about me.  I like to think of myself as an open book.  According to most of my family and friends, I have nothing to hide and cannot help divulging secrets.  I am the sort of person who it is better not to share anything remotely covert with unless you want a secret circulated.  I just can't help myself which is why I need to tell you this story and its moral just in case you are a bit like me in that respect. 

I have a son who has reached a milestone birthday and we were busy planning one of those surprise parties now that they are allowed again.  I have spent a lot of time with my daughter in law sorting out the finer details and, until that point we had managed to keep it a secret but every day is a day to get things done and, in preparation for sorting out some of the details, I needed a little information from her.

I phoned while I was waiting at the bus stop and she answered.  We exchanged the normal pleasantries but she had no time to say, ‘I am in the car driving with the whole family’ before I launched right in there with my surprise party question.

A crisis was averted purely because of her quick thinking but that day I learned something else about telephone etiquette. 

I could have said something of a four-letter nature which the children might have heard, or I could have shared something about a family member fit only for the set of ears I thought I was talking to privately.  I am sure you get the point.    

The lesson I have learned is that it is better to say hello to all the possible people who might be listening.  You can go with the… ‘Is there anyone there with you?’ or ‘Can we talk?’ approach, but then anyone else who can hear might wonder if what you planned to say is about them and that could come back to bite you.  Perhaps the ‘What are you doing right now?’ introduction to your call might be more subtle. It will give the person you are talking to the opportunity to mention the others that might be able to hear the conversation and you the opportunity to turn a potentially embarrassing bit of chat into a, ‘and how are you all doing today?’ one. 

And if you find yourself on the other end of a potentially precarious phone call situation, the secret is to ignore whatever is initially being said at the other end of the line and invite everyone to say hello to Grandma (or whoever else might be with you) as quickly as possible…

It is all too easy to put your electronic foot in it these days… 

OK, Lee 

…LPG adds some information on today’s celebration…

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