Dear LPG,

I recently wrote a message about one thing that many of us need to offer and perhaps feel the need to deliver together with the more usual Christmas presents to friends and family.  I was talking about the power that an apology has at this time of year, but there is another little two-word phrase that so often escapes just as the Christmas wrapping paper comes off those presents, but which gets missed at so many other times during the year.  It often gets implied or thrown into the conversation when appropriate and during Christmas we often say it even when the surprise beyond the packaging is somewhat disappointing.  The words I am talking about are ‘thank you’; a phrase which is so often under-used during most of the rest of the year. 

During my lifetime I have noticed that we have become a world that has forgotten to appreciate the little things that our friends, family and even strangers do for us, and also just how much the unexpected use of that word combination can affect the day of the person who receives them.  I think that so many people feel that they have nothing to give while so much is given, appreciated privately and dismissed.

The other day a friend came to see my husband who was not in.  He knows her through a club that he goes to and while I don’t know her that well, I have met her at the occasional ‘bring your other half events’ that happen from time to time, but couples talk, and I knew that she had recently lost her husband.

She had brought some documents for him, and I happened to be gardening at the time that she arrived. She was about to get out of her car, but I took the documents from the front window and saved her the journey. I offered my sympathy and then noticed that she was a little thoughtful so I asked if she was all right.  She told me that she was finding things hard to deal with and we spent a few minutes talking about it. She was sorting his things and I could identify having recently lost a family member. Five or so minutes went by and the conversation was over, she left, and I got back to the plants.

A day or so later she phoned, and we exchanged a pleasant ‘hello’, I was about to get my husband when she interrupted and told me that she did not really phone to talk to him. She thanked me for taking the time to talk to her and told me that the couple of sentences we exchanged really lifted her mood and improved her day.

Being thanked for such a little action took me back a bit and lifted my day too. I have found a new friend but I thought nothing more about what I had said to her until she explained the effect that it had had.

I think that I have learned that ‘thank you’ does work and is so much more appreciated when someone takes the time to say it, text it, or communicate it a second time…

JL, Beckenham.