Dear LPG,

We all get that annual prompt as we get reminded that we are each getting older.  On the occasion of my 70^th birthday my family decided to prepare a surprise for me which was very enjoyable, and after the event I felt the need to immortalise the occasion in verse while using quite a bit of poetic license.  That was a few years ago now but I recently found my lyrical effort and I would like to offer it for your pages.

The birthday boy… 70 years now.

I ignored it somewhat but it was on the way

Today I woke up on my 70^th birthday.

I was told to be ready, and informed of the time

I got suited and booted and ready to dine

We left in a fleet of cars for the venue

They left us on Blackheath where we had to trudge through

The slopes of the heath to reach our destination

But we got there on time for our reservation

We were ushered to seats; a table for nine

I was not impressed by the interior design

The menu was foreign and quite hard to read

I decided more light was the thing I would need

I ordered a salad and also the stake

It was a bit tough but my teeth didn’t break

The company was great, and made up for the meal

An evening with family; how special I feel

All was convivial and pleasant until

the meal came to an end and we asked for the bill

not bad, £40.00 each; but then came the delay

Each diner looks for funds to pay their own way

While everyone’s busy sorting how much they’ve each got

I just get out my card and pay for the lot

Everyone promises to pay me back

But I know that won’t happen, they still have the knack

So I pay while they all have visions of my wealth

As with most other birthdays I’ve paid for myself. 

CJC, Downham.