A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 80th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel..

When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high. "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!" 

The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.

She insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." ''Well, they are here, and you could have."

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.

"We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here." 

"But I didn't go to any of those shows." She pleaded.

"Well, we have them, and you could have." was the reply.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, 

"But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.

After several minutes’ discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. 

"But Madam, this check is for only £50.00" "That's correct" she replied,  "I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me."

"But I didn't sleep with you madam!" said the manager

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."