Dear LPG.

I found myself trying my best to pay homage to the people of the Czech Republic  this month by delivering a plate of Syr Smazeny.  I have to admit that the thought of frying a bit of cheese seemed easy enough but that is what you get when you take a quick look at the picture and assume that you can tell exactly what needs to be done; a mistake that you know I have made before.

I looked at the ingredients and the picture and assumed that I had the method down without even taking a good look.   I did all that a month ago now and with the simplicity of the dish in my head, I went shopping on the day of my planned cooking adventure.

I went to the supermarket because the only vaguely foreign item on the list was the Edam or Gouda cheese and I just knew I would find some on the shelves.  I have bought it many a time and confidently went shopping only to have the culinary wind blown out of my sales. It was not a case of no Edam or Gouda on the shelves but every bit of it I could find was well and truly sliced.  I did consider trying to stick a few slices together and I even bought some with that in mind but I also went to the shop with the largest collection of exotic cheeses that I could think of with disappointing results.  When it came to both of the recommended cheeses, the slice remained evident and the slab non-existent.

Decisions had to be made if I was to produce anything at all so, while I stood in the shop feeling as if I was truly wasting the shopkeepers time, I made an executive decision which demonstrated my absolute ignorance as a cheese connoisseur because from everything that was on display I chose Ricotta.  I got it home and, as I cut it in half and appreciated its consistency for the first time, I worked out that working with this Dutch stable was not going to end well.  It was also at that point that I realised that I was supposed to put the cheese in the oven rather than fry it and I decided that ricotta was definitely not hardy enough in consistency to withstand that.

The sliced Edam was a disaster but I had a slab of good old fashioned Cheddar in the fridge and had a go with that.  when I say a disaster I mean everything melted and there was a lot of unscheduled oven cleaning that the recipe did not mention, to be done at the end of the cook.  But the chips were not too bad.  As an afterthought I did dip the ricotta but decided to pan fry it in the way that I thought the picture suggested when I took a look at it.   

My taste testers agreed that the cheddar came out a bit too melted and the ricotta was a disaster while I did not have the heart to even show them what happened to my Edam and Gouda breadcrumb-clad cheese.  Sorry Czech Republic, I did not know that I had the ability to produce such a disaster!

Time to move on I think to November where, on the 28^th, Chad will be celebrating Republic Day and, after all my recent independent culinary misadventures, what could go wrong with a warming bowl of Boule?  We will soon see…

CB, Lewisham

CB gives an internet insight into a November independent breakfast dish…

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