Dear LPG readers,

I have written to you on a few previous occasions, having remembered some of the things that happened to me when I was a member of the UK workforce. You might remember that I sent in a few of the stories about my experiences as a bus driver at the turn of the century. However, while many go through the motions of doing their jobs, I enjoyed working. 

I did many other jobs during what might be called my career, but I was one of those who could see the fun side of each job. Many of the drivers had been doing the job for years when I started, and they all had amusing stories to tell. I wrote a few down and found a couple that might bring back a few memories for readers who commuted before the invention of the Oyster card and buses without conductors. 

In the hope of bringing back a few memories to both the passengers of that era and other ex-bus drivers, I would like to share another tale with LPG readers.  

The potential choker…

We were a bit early, and the driver was making a point of driving slowly to kill time, but apart from this, there was nothing unusual about this particular trip back to New Cross Garage. It was now very late in the evening, and I was the conductor on a 36 bus. My driver and I were finishing the last trip of the day.  

Just after Marble Arch, two larger ladies got on the bus. They were both dressed in black tracksuits and had a small dog with them.  Nothing unusual there, I thought. I did not give it a second thought at all. We passed Hyde Park and made our way to an unusually empty Victoria Station – well, not that unusual for the time of night if the truth be known.   The bus stopped, and the two ladies and their dog prepared to get off. My attention was a little distracted because I was inside the bus taking a fare, but as we got to the stop, I looked up for a moment, and there was nothing whatsoever unusual in the way that the ladies made their way to the exit.

The bus stopped, they reached the platform, and they jumped off the bus somewhat energetically, as did the dog, and nothing was outstanding about that action either. So, I rang the bell by tapping the line that runs along the side of the bus, and it slowly started to move away from the stop because the driver was still trying to get us back on schedule. This is when the problem became evident.  

A little yelp was the first sound that I heard, and that was followed by a little voice, which was saying, “Give me my dog back, give me my dog back!”  My immediate reaction was to ring again so that the bus stopped, and I made my way to the platform to see what the exact problem was. 
When I got there, it was evident that the two ladies had alighted to the left of the upright pole that divides the exit of the Route Master bus. At the same time, the dog had chosen to leave by the opening to the right of the pole, resulting in one lady and the dog being attached to the bus in a manner which was not doing the dog’s health an awful lot of good. The bus had not gone very far, and it did not take long to unwind the lead. I notified the driver, and we asked the ladies if they would like us to get some help for the dog, but he (or she) appeared to be no worse for the experience, and the ladies refused our offers to radio for help. 

As we made our second attempt to leave that bus stop, my last vision of the threesome was that of a lady holding her dog like a baby, and the other smiling thankfully at me as they disappeared into the distant darkness. Thank goodness we were early!

13844   (this is the badge number of the driver who told me this story)

JB, Lewisham