Dear LPG, 

There are so many different subjects written about on your pages that I am sure this one must have been broached before. However, I want to leave a short message about one section of the population, for whom it is often easy to think you have done your bit and then unintentionally forget.  

As each of us navigates our way through life, it can change in an instant, regardless of our age.  You can be so busy with school, work, or the many clubs, day centres and projects that we oldies get involved with, before it takes just one event to topple the fundamental foundation of the routine that underpins your whole existence.

The name that is aptly given to the Accident and Emergency department of our hospitals says it all.  The fact that we have so many routine plates spinning keeps us grounded, but either an accident or an emergency can cause them to all fall. 

In case you are not sure what I mean when I talk about those metaphorical plates, somewhere inside all of us, there is a circus plate spinner, and when we look up, there they all are. The financial plate, the family plate, the health plate and the job plate (that includes all those projects that you are involved in, whether you get paid or not).  Then there are the extracurricular ones that we choose to add (the clubs and groups we attend, and the friends we have made)  

When we are young, we start with just a few, but they have a habit of multiplying before you know it. However, few of us can keep them all spinning perpetually.   

Older people are likely to see someone around us who has been distracted for just long enough to let them all fall.  As we get older, the accidents and emergencies have a more devastating effect.  They indeed happen to us all, but our ability to cope can become weaker as we get older.  The young seem more ready to look to the future and consider alternatives, while older people often struggle to see one. 

Over the past year, I have seen three of my friends lose a sudden and severe degree of control over their set of spinning plates.  One had a stroke, the second broke a hip, and the third lost their partner.  Each has either been physically or emotionally forced to stop going out, and while counsellors and other professionals can help, there is nothing like your friends at such a time.   

Visiting, for the visitor, can be time-consuming and complex (it can be so hard to leave, and sometimes you cannot think of anything positive to say when you are with them). However, despite all the downsides of being there, I want to remind readers that we who can still do so need to add a couple of extra plates to our collections. I am talking about juggling a few visits a week to our friends who are ill or depressed and don’t get out.  

One of my previously mentioned friends is hardly aware of my presence at times, but it's terrific to see her smile when she does open her eyes.  Another of the regular people I've visited recently shared something that has inspired what I've written today.  While we were talking about something quite unrelated, she suddenly mentioned how appreciative she was of my time, reminding me that visits from real friends and acquaintances, who are not paid to make them, are the most important of all.

I know many people who avoid visiting friends when they find themselves ill or depressed, and others make a single visit and then mentally tick that off their ‘to-do’ list. However, I urge all readers to take a look and check that their ‘friend-visiting’ plate is not wobbling. 

BF, Lee